Ask for and Accept Help

Being a caregiver has its benefits, but it is also very difficult. You must take care of the patient’s health and your own health.

It is important to recognize the limits of your endurance and strength. One strategy for caregiver self-care is to seek and accept help from others.

Accept Help

• Let others give you a break
• Ask for help before you feel overwhelmed
• Make a list of ways people can help you 
• If someone asks, “Can I do anything for you?” give them a specific answer:
  • Make a healthy meal
  • Pick up your mail
  • Mow your lawn
  • Take your kids to school or afterschool activities
• Use apps to help people help you
  • “Lotsa Helping Hands” – With an interactive calendar and message board, you can invite people to help with errands, medical appointments, etc. Use the app or website.
  • “CareZone”– Write about your loved one and invite others to help with their care. It has a task list, medication log, notes, photos, etc. Use the app or website.
  • Meal Train
• Find help with communication, so you don’t have to call everyone with updates.
  • Choose a person who will share updates with friends and family.
  • Create an email chain, private social media account, or group text to share updates.
  • Use a communication app for caregivers:
• “Caring Bridge” – Share updates, care arrangements, pictures, and messages with family and friends. Use the free app or website.
• “Caring Village” – Create a “village” of family and friends to coordinate care. It includes a calendar, document storage, medication list, and wellness journal. Use the app or website.

Ask for Help

• Ask for help. Being a caregiver is hard. You do not have to do it alone 
• Feeling depressed, anxious, or frustrated is normal. You are not a “bad” caregiver
• Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional if you:
  • Have intense mood changes, anxiety, or panic and it’s hard to get through the day
  • Avoid people or situations that cause feelings of depression or anxiety
  • Think about hurting yourself or do not want to live.
• If you want to hurt yourself, go to the Emergency Department, call 911, or call a suicide hotline
• Find a mental health provider:
  • Ask your doctor, health insurance, or transplant team for a referral
  • Use the Psychology Today “Find a Therapist” website to search by location, insurance, therapy type, gender, etc.
• Learn strategies to talk about your mental health
• General mental health resources:
  • https://www.mentalhealth.gov/
  • National Institute of Mental Health
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) resource list
  • USA Mental Health First Aid resource list
  • US Department of Veteran Affairs mental health website
  • CDC mental health tools and resources
  • Mental Health America
  • National Suicide Prevention Hotline